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It's been a decade since the guide has been made, but it has been a rough ride. A majority of the obstacles originate from the NG BBS, but the two biggest obstacles of all was Newgrounds Administrator Wade Fulp, and Newgrounds Review/BBS moderator Malachy.
So you see my Newgrounds Guide being enormous, and it grows bigger and bigger too as the site grows too. But where did it begin? Everything begins somewhere, so where did this guide begin from? And how did it grow to be this massive? Who inspired me to do this? How did I pull this off? How much work did you put into this?
Well I have reserved this section as a diary entry of the Newgrounds Guide. It's not really a biography, since I am including myself in the guide, and several other users. This is not meant to be an argument, so shut the fuck up. If I say it's a diary, IT'S A FUCKING DIARY. PERIOD!
I will also include the MOST EMBARRASSING events that EVER happened to me. Also the most annoying and furious thoughts will be unleashed. Even some critical and very important bits of information I was reluctant to give out (even to Malachy) will be given out here. This is the fucking NG Guide history, and I got the NG Guide Posting Rules behind my back, so I will leak out everything without consequence and despair. Even if it makes me look like a shameful ass, EVEN to the BBS/Review moderators, just remember that this is for entertainment purposes. So I don't really care if it embarrasses me, or portrays me in a negative way. If I get at LEAST one mod to laugh at this butthurt shit, my job is done. Hey, it's better to be honest than to be a dishonest asshole.
NOTE: Dates will be written by mm/dd/yy format rather dd/mm/yy format.
There will be a statistics section at the start of each scene. It will look like this:
Current Time:
BBS Post Count:
Alt BBS Post Count:
BBS Rings Count:
Alt BBS Rings Count:
Number of BBS bans:
Number of alt BBS bans:
Remaining Ban Length:
Recent NG Guide Part:
Current Time: - The time in which the scene begins. This is intentionally here so that all scenes are time-stamped and that Mal or another moderator can't say "GET OVER IT" or whatever.
BBS Post Count: - My current post count in this account during that scene
Alt BBS Post Count: - My post count of my alt account during that scene. This does NOT appear until I have made my alt.
BBS Rings Count: - This is where I get a little Sonic fanboyish, but it is a GREAT analogy to use here. Whenever I get banned, I will lose X amount of rings from this amount (because I was pissed by the ban) depending on the harshness of the ban. In fact, you can think of it as a "mood" count as if the number goes down, it symbolizes that I'm in a bad mood on the BBS. If the number goes up, I am in a good mood on the BBS. Bans normally bought down my mood, but several of them were more devastating than the others, which is why I added this statistic to the History post; to measure the devastation. If this number reaches 0, and I get slammed by a ban, then...
Alt BBS Rings Count: - Same as above, except with the alt account.
Number of BBS bans: - The number of bans I have accumulated throughout time.
Number of alt BBS bans: - Same as above, except for the alt account.
Remaining Ban Length: - The number of days left on my BBS ban during that scene. This does NOT appear if I'm unbanned from the BBS.
Recent NG Guide Part: - The recent part of the guide I have made recently
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~ Scene 1: Prologue ~
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Current time: October 24th, 2008 - February 18th, 2009 (116 days)
Recent NG Guide Part: N/A
BBS Rings Count: N/A
Before I even get into how the fire was ignited, I will go ALL the way back into when I signed up (10/24/08). Yes it's kind of an autobiography now, but I digress. Anyway...
I actually made an account in 2007. This was my old account, with a sign-up date of 4/9/07. So I'm pretty much a 2007 user, although I forgot how to recover my damn password. After I left Newgrounds, I remembered this site and typed in "www.newgrounds.com" out of no reason.
I tried my password (password was meant to be "191994" (that was my birthdate & birthyear put together, although I dunno what the fuck I changed the password to back then) but it failed. My email was fucked because I changed the password for that from "191994" to "SonicTheHedgehog191994" and for some reason I couldn't reenter into my account. I must have thrown a letter in CAPS by accident. I also used copy & paste to copy & paste the password into the "Confirm Password" field for my email! FUCK! So people, do NOT use copy & paste on the "confirm password" field; it will NOT bode you well!
If I gave Wade the email address I used to make that account, I'm sure he would give me that password. I didn't send PMs to anyone, nor did I make a news post. I can even tell him how many review(s) have been deleted from that account, and what flash(es) those abusive review(s) were submitted to as well too. I also know what name is listed under "First Name" and "Last Name" in that account too.
Anyway, so I made this new Grounds Gold account with a new email. I was an unoriginal fucktard back then. Why? Since I had no imagination, I made this user name (SuperMarioBrosS) by shortening the "Brothers" part of my older user name to "Bros". That worked, so I made this account. Shit still sucked, since I'm now a 2008 user rather a 2007 but whatever. Just know that I am INDEED a 2007 user (that has lost his account). If I PM Wade with all the details I know about that account, I'm sure he will give it back to me, or say that I gave the right information. So pretty much, those user that have signed up in 5/10/07 or later that call me a stupid 2008 noob or say "STFU you 2008 n00b" have no idea who the fuck they are calling a fucking noob.
There was also three fucking people that act like they are so superior to me in the Wi/Ht? forum, unaware that I got here earlier than they all did. ALL 3 are STATWHORES, and brag brag brag at the Wi/Ht? Level up! Lounge, but if I deposited every day and didn't lose that account, my stats would have raped all of their dumb fucking sorry asses! I fucking hate show-offs. People tell me that I'm a show-off too, but I take their advice into consideration and try to level down if they are right. I tend to be a show-off when it comes to reviews, but on the BBS, since June 28th, 2009, I'm inferior to EVERYBODY that posts on the BBS. Even I'm inferior to the shittiest posters on the BBS. Even though most regulars don't know the unwritten rules of the BBS, whereas I do, yet I'm still inferior, because my posting habits turned to shit after departing the BBS.
Anyhow, after making this account, (wow did I really go THAT off-topic?) I left the site for a few months, and came back. This time I remembered my password. I was at level 7 when I came back, so I did deposit for some time before temporarily leaving. I also had a FUCKING GARBAGE WHISTLE! Like FUCK! I had that in my old account, and now I have it on my new account too! Anyway, I made my first news post. It was meant to be a post discussing how shit Sonic games were (FYI: I was a fucking die-hard Sonic fanboy back then) but nobody really responded. (Even in my old account, I was a die-hard Sonic fanboy, as apparent by my extremely unmeasurable fanboyish embarrassing reviews.)
Then I made a news post about if Sonic actually is afraid of water (yes I was that fucking retarded), and finally I made a news post about their super/hyper forms (Super Sonic, Hyper Sonic, Super Tails, Super/Hyper Knuckles, and so on). The super/hyper forms post was a huge hit apparently (compared to the others); it got 7 comments. Later, I made more news posts about Sonic as time went on, as an encouragement and vain to get more comments. Examples were favorite Sonic music, hated & favorite Sonic stages, Sonic & Amy married, favorite/hated character, Sonic/Shadow: Who would win in a race and more. THAT STUPID it was.
How did I evolve from that undefinable/unmeasurable Sonic fanboy immaturity into making an ass-spanking mature and high-quality Newgrounds Guide? I don't know to be 100% honest, but it sure is a WOW to me as I write this.
During that time when I made those lame Sonic posts was also when I first discovered the BBS, and began posting in there...
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~ Scene 2: The Entrance to the BBS ~
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Current time: February 18th, 2009 at 05:50 PM
BBS Post Count: 0
BBS Rings Count: 100 / 100
Number of BBS bans: 0
Recent NG Guide Part: N/A
So I clicked the BIG word "FORUMS" on the site navigation bar. BIGGEST. MISTAKE. EVER.
Or maybe not; it depends on how you interpret it. Some see it as a trip to hell; some see it as a good thing.
But I sure as hell said to myself that I took a trip to hell.
Okay, enough of that rambling shit. I went in there and posted in the Video Game forum. It wasn't exactly that enjoyable I guess. There were okay topics, but I didn't really post much. I will admit, I was an asshat retard for not reading the BBS rules first (but I will admit that I discovered the BBS rules before the actual BBS via FAQ; I didn't pay much attention to the rules then). Either way, I kind of managed. I only posted in the Sonic topics with fanboyism, and flamed at people in Nintendo topics (yeah it was THAT bad). In neutral topics, like favorite consoles/genres/etc, I stayed at the Sonic/Sega side.
I had no idea what the quality standards were back then. NOW, as a write this, I can see from a noob's point of view on how a new 10 year old noob is shitting up the BBS; the fanboyism, childishness, immaturity, and the lack of the knowledge of the general posting standards & maturity standards the BBS has. I can see from BOTH perspectives now; the noobs' and regulars' perspectives. As a noob, I was clueless on the BBS, and did whatever the fuck I felt like doing, without knowing how annoying I was to the regulars. Plus the regulars just gave me the trash treatment like they did to other regulars, which made problem solving much harder. In fact, I have no idea how I got to know the BBS standards, what pisses and what doesn't piss off the BBS regulars, and any of that shit. Anyhow...
I posted 22 shitty BBS posts on the VIDEO GAME forum, and made 19 shitty posts in the General forum. The first BBS post I made in VG was at 2/18/09 at 5:57 PM, and the FIRST post I made in the General forum was at 03/05/09 at 05:03 PM. Already you can call me a VG regular at that time, although I was a 10 year old one. Again, with 22 posts in the VG forum already, you can tell that I was a huge fanboy. For 41 posts, I didn't get banned. I didn't realize that I didn't get banned for all that immature fanboyism shit.
I'd prefer to be banned from the BBS FOR 50 DAYS rather than first meeting Malachy, and stirring up the future shit-fest that is to come...
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~ Scene 3: Meeting Malachy (God damnit) ~
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Current Time: March 12th, 2009 at 10:28 PM
BBS Post Count: 41
BBS Rings Count: 100 / 100
Number of BBS bans: 0
Recent NG Guide Part: N/A
So one day, I was browsing through the Where is/How to? forum of the BBS. In fact, that was the FIRST time I went in there. I don't know why I was there in the first place; I probably was looking around to see what more the NG BBS has to offer than a General & Video Game forum (note that I never intended to remember these moments, so description is going to be hazy). I discovered the thread "Mal's gift to you: Review Answers" floating around on the Wi/Ht? forum (first page). It sounded pretty damn interesting, so I clicked on it to check it out. I immediately read the OP's post (Malachy) and kept going down the thread.
Immediately I saw this statwhore bitch whining about whistle points. Funny, because it was blatant that he was violating one of Malachy's rules. The most crazy part is how Mal posted in that thread, indirectly responding to it, and didn't delete his bullshitty posts. Say WHAT? Okay, not that big of a deal, so blah blah blah.
I kept going down that thread, and read EVERY DAMN POST! Yes, I abided by the "lurk first, post second" rule on the BBS. Not only that, but it was interesting too. Then I made my first post at 10:28 PM in there.
THE. BIGGEST. FATAL. ERROR. I. HAVE. EVER. MADE. IN. MY. ENTIRE. NG. CAREER.
Well actually, Mal responded to that post. He did cause a minor fuck up, like having to DOUBLE FUCKING POST to answer my question FULLY, but whatever. It still worked. I didn't do it to build a friendship or rivalry; just out of interest I did it.
URL: http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/99 3518/7
Provided of course Malachy doesn't destroy his post history like SevenSeize (and becomes a bigger pain in the ass), you can see my first post by reading the quoted sections of HIS post.
I also prolonged the conversation a bit, by asking more and more questions. This is how I gained a good solid image of abusive reviews, and what to flag.
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~ Scene 4: My FIRST BBS Ban ~
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Current Time: March 18th 2009
BBS Post Count: 65
BBS Rings Count: 95 / 100 (-5)
Number of BBS bans: 1
Recent NG Guide Part: N/A
For some reason, I entered the word "Reviews" in the search bar and found some threads regarding reviews in the portal. I dunno why I did that, even as of now. It's a fuzzy moment I can't really recall.
If I had to guess, it's probably because of my growing interest of abusive reviews and such made me do that. Unawaringly I realized I was bumping some of those old topics into the front page of General. Here's a topic I accidentally bumped. It was 7 months old when I bumped it. I think I bumped a total of 4 old topics. (Forgive my shitty sentence structure.) Then, right after posting in this thread...
I got my first BBS ban:
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~ BBS Ban #1 ~
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Ends: Thursday, 19th March, 2009
Duration of ban: 1 day
Administered by: Zerok
Reason for ban: Bumping old threads with "review" in the title. - Zerok
Administered at: March 18th, 2009
Number of Rings Lost: 5
Fun fact: THAT is how a mod views your ban history; the EXACT same layout is there for each ban. Who banned you, the reason, length of ban, and when it expires are listed in that format. The parts that does NOT appear in the ban history are the "Administered at" and obviously, the "Number of Rings Lost" parts.
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That ban wasn't enough to piss me off. This ban, in fact, gave me a good impression of the BBS. I got the good impression that this place would be a nice place to have a good amount of fun and entertainment, since I assumed the mods are strict and will ban assholes. Which will leave good people posting.
The reason why it's a -5 from the ring count is because that ban was KIND OF harsh for a noob poster. Like a warning would have helped, and a 2nd offense or breaking 80 posts would warrant a ban. But it was a nice ban, so the impact was minor.
That impression the ban gave me eventually failed me miserably...
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~ Scene 5: The Rivalry Begins ~
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Current Time: March 21st, 2009 at 01:00 PM
BBS Post Count: 77
BBS Rings Count: 95 / 100
Number of BBS bans: 1
Recent NG Guide Part: N/A
Well this is where things turn to the shittier:
http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/99 3518/8
AGAIN, you will have to see one of Mal's posts to see the original post I made. Except most of it was then cut out.
Statwhore issues. He started accusing me of being a statwhore. Wow. I could see it as him thinking I was a statwhore, but that was fucking ridiculous. He told me to stop the conversation I was prolonging in the thread:
"The guidelines are for reviewing, not flagging. If it is ABUSIVE you should flag it as such. Abusive reviews should jump off the page to you. You seem far more concerned with gaining whistle levels than actually helping authors so I really don't see much point in continuing this drawn out conversation. If you are still confused, PM a review moderator."
I know it is not common to see someone get a deity and flag BEYOND the god damn deity, but come on that almost put my motivation down! I almost stopped flagging, to think that review mods don't give out info to those that have less than a deity whistle. Shit shit shit. Fuck fuck fuck. That was a HUGE dent on my confidence and passion to get rid of abuse.
Fucking horse shit:
"You seem far more concerned with gaining whistle levels than actually helping authors so I really don't see much point in continuing this drawn out conversation."
^ Hey Malachy, tell that same stupid shit you told me back then to Parts 2 & 10 IN THEIR FUCKING FACES RIGHT FUCKING NOW YOU STUPID FUCKING ASSHOLE!
Soon my new BBS posts in that thread began disappearing. I dunno why. From his last reply post, he thinks I was interested just for the whistle points, and vaporized every post I made there in the future. I couldn't do anything either, since every post I made there was gone!
...
...
...
Wait a minute... why the FUCK did my posts disappear, but this faggot's posts remain in the FIRST FUCKING PAGE? WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THAT? MALACHY YOU SON OF A FUCKING BITCH!!!!!
This is where I began to get furious at him. I think he has something against me. Because if he's letting a BLATANT statwhore get his questions answered, and treats a non-statwhore like trash, then something must be going on within him. It's hard to crack open and figure out what.
This shit continued going on and on for about 12 posts. I posted. He deleted. I posted. He deleted. Someone posted. He responds. I posted. He deleted. It kept going and going until...
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~ Scene 6: IT BEGINS! HAHAHAHAHA FUCK YOU MALACHY!!! ~
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Current Time: March 26th, 2009 at 6:51 PM
BBS Post Count: 91
BBS Rings Count: 85 / 100
Number of BBS bans: 2
Recent NG Guide Part: Part 1
Fuck you Mal. God damn FUCK YOU TO HELL MALACHY YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! Now I'm taking control of shit now. You're now dust. HAHAHAHAHA!
So after being fed up of Mal's garbage and him being selfish on not dishing out any answers, I'm taking shit the hard way now. I made Part 1 of the guide, as a symbol of breaking away from that son-of-a-bitch. Kind of a trophy of breaking away from him, but nevertheless, I still made it. It was also the FIRST NON-SONIC-RELATED news post I made in my entire NG career! So that is another breaking point too.
Oh yeah, also note that I somehow got from a garbage to a bronze whistle too. I don't remember when that exactly happened, but I DO remember that I had a bronze whistle. Also, the Part 1 from back then was WAY different from the Part 1 you see today.
In Part 1, I said that I will be bringing in abusive reviews to this news post, and other people should too. It's like restarting this heap of shit, although I will be moderating it on low-traffic mode. In any case, I made that post in a desperate attempt to gain more knowledge of abusive reviews, and pull up my whistle status so that my whistle will dish out more damage to abusive reviews.
Title: Cleaning up NG and Whistle Points Part 1: Abusive Reviews
Once I posted that post, I saw some people comment on it. They didn't exactly get the ball rolling though. Rather, they talked about the review moderators, and the current review system. FUCK, you can't find a SINGLE FUCKING LINK that links to a submission in there. THAT's how bad it was. In fact, one of the rare times when a "Cool story bro" smartass comment is appropriate.
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~ Scene 6: DAMN YOU TO HELL MALACHY!!! ~
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Current Time: March 29th, 2009 at 05:00 PM
BBS Post Count: 111
BBS Rings Count: 85 / 100 (-10)
Number of BBS bans: 2
Recent NG Guide Part: N/A
Damnit I got a BBS ban from Malachy. The FIRST time I got a ban from him! And guess what? It is because of HIS FUCKING REVIEW ANSWERS THREAD!
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~ BBS Ban #2 ~
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Ends: Tuesday, 31st March, 2009
Duration of ban: 2 days
Administered by: Malachy
Reason for ban: Mal's gift to you: Review answers is not the place to link to supposed abusive reviews. I have stated this enough times for you to have seen it if you read the thread as you are supposed to do. ~Mal
Administered at: March 29th, 2009
Number of Rings Lost: 10
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FUCK YOU MALACHY!!! DAMN DAMN DAMNIT!!!!
After seeing that ban, I said "FUCK IT AND FUCK THAT SELFISH ASSHOLE PRICK" and took shit into my own hands. I broke away from him temporarily. If he wants to be an asshole to someone that is NOT a statwhore, but FEEDS the REAL GOD DAMN statwhores with flagging advice, well FUCK HIM and MOVE on. I decided to break away from him temporarily, and went on independently.
From his ban message, yes I DID overlook a rule he made about not linking to abusive reviews (to prevent another "Rage's gift to you: Abusive Reviews" from happening), but he didn't fucking put it on the OP, which made it easy to overlook:
~
http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/99 3518/4
We will not answer questions about specific reviews.
DO NOT LINK TO OR TRY TO GET OTHERS TO FLAG ANOTHER REVIEW/SUBMISSION IN THIS THREAD. YOU WILL BE BANNED
~
Like why me? Out of all people, why do I have to get this? Why can't it be that statwhore bitch that gets the shit treatment? He BLATANTLY broke the rules framed in that thread, yet he didn't get raped, but rather got FUCKING FED WITH INFORMATION HE WANTED! How is that so? Fuck fuck fuck. That's it? I come in peace and in interest to wipe off abuse from the site, and now I get this garbage bullshit from an asshole review moderator who thinks I'm a FUCKING STATWHORE? Damn you Mal, damn you... is it all over now? I tried to help the site by using my time and presence here to clean up shit left by others, but HE wants to slow my progress down? Does my presence on the site make a difference? Can I leave the site, and see that I didn't do shit to it?
Does he really have some type of conspiracy against me? Like first he deleted my posts, and NOW he imposed a ban for an offense I made when OTHERS made the same offense and didn't get banned?
Now that I think about it, he's contradicting what his damn job as a review moderator he is supposed to be. What a fucking asshole.
Something happened then, right after I asked those last few questions...
And this moment will change my entire NG career, and probably my entire life on this planet, for I hated Malachy A LOT, and it started this that is now (actually, it was before it hit 500 comments) the life force of the Newgrounds Guide...
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~ Scene 8: Part 2 of the Newgrounds guide ~
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Current Time: March 29th, 2009 at 8:56 PM
BBS Post Count: 111
BBS Rings Count: 85 / 100
Number of BBS bans: 2
Remaining Ban Length: 2 days
Recent NG Guide Part: Part 2
So FUCK THAT CUNT THAT BANNED ME! ARGH! Now it is time for ME to turn things around MYSELF! And make the tide change! I am making that post WHILE I AM FUCKING BBS BANNED!
~
So Part 1 failed, as nobody bought in links to abusive reviews. I even posted links to abusive reviews in the news post itself, yet that fucking failed. Probably because there was too much crap in the news post that made it hard to find those links (and nobody is patient enough to read through that crap anyway).
As a last-ditch effort to get the ball rolling and start this fire, I made Part 2 of the guide. It had less crap in it in contrast to Part 1. I threw the commenting rules shit in Part 1, and left plenty of room in Part 2. I also kept a review-deletion counter, where I will count how many reviews we got deleted.
Title: Cleaning up NG and Whistle Points Part 2: Flagging Abusive Reviews
As for Part 1, I renamed it to...
Title: Cleaning up NG and Whistle Points Part 1: Explanation
The first comment in Part 2, left by The777Demon, made me lose a little bit of hope. I thought this will never work. However, the 2nd comment made by ninjakoopa-33, started the fire. More and more people began posting in that post. In fact, I leveled up to silver from bronze since that much was reported. It's a good start, albeit a bumpy one.
NOTE: History post is continued to Part 2. See Guide Navigation below for link.
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